Menopause can affect far more than your period and body. Mood changes, anxiety, brain fog, sleep problems and emotional shifts can leave you wondering what happened to the woman you used to know. This is my experience of navigating the mental and emotional side of menopause, learning when lifestyle changes helped, when I needed medical support, and how I began finding myself again.
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There was a point during menopause when I didn’t feel like myself.
And I don’t mean simply looking in the mirror and noticing that my body had changed.
I mean I didn’t feel like me.
My emotions were different. My patience was different. My body was changing. My weight was changing. My sleep could be affected. Hot flashes and night sweats became part of my life.
There were days when I felt overwhelmed by changes I didn’t fully understand.
And when you’re experiencing all of those things at the same time, it can make you wonder:
What is happening to me?
That’s one of the reasons I want women to understand that menopause isn’t simply the end of your menstrual cycle.
For some of us, it can be a physical, mental and emotional transition.
The Part of Menopause We Don’t Talk About Enough
Everybody knows about hot flashes.
Everybody jokes about night sweats.
But we don’t talk nearly enough about what can happen emotionally.
Mood changes, irritability, anxiety and difficulty concentrating can occur during the menopause transition. Sleep problems and other menopause symptoms can also influence how we feel mentally and emotionally.
And then life itself doesn’t stop because you’re going through menopause.
You still have work.
Family.
Relationships.
Bills.
Responsibilities.
People who need you.
Meanwhile, you’re trying to understand a body that suddenly seems to have rewritten its operating manual without giving you the update.
That’s a lot.
My Body Changed, and Emotionally I Struggled With That
One of the hardest parts of my menopause journey was watching my body change.
I gained 67 pounds in one year, from one physical to the next.
That wasn’t simply a number on a scale for me.
It affected the way I saw myself.
I remember standing in the shower and crying because I hated what I saw.
That’s difficult for me to write, but it’s part of my story.
The woman looking back at me didn’t look like the woman I remembered.
And while today I can look at that period of my life with much more compassion, when I was living through it, I didn’t have that perspective.
I was trying to understand what was happening while I was inside the storm.
Then Came the Brain Fog
There is another menopause experience that can be unsettling: feeling mentally cloudy.
Forgetting a word.
Walking into a room and wondering why you went in there.
Having trouble concentrating.
Feeling like your brain is carrying twenty browser tabs and somebody hid the cursor. 😩
The Menopause Society reports that 40% to 60% of midlife women report cognitive symptoms such as forgetfulness during the menopause transition. These changes are typically mild, and experiencing ordinary menopause-related brain fog does not mean a woman is developing dementia. Significant or concerning cognitive changes, however, should be discussed with a healthcare professional.
Knowing that matters.
Sometimes understanding what may be happening takes away some of the fear surrounding it.
Sleep and Mental Wellness Are Connected Too
Sleep deserves its own seat at this table.
Night sweats can wake you up.
Hot flashes can disturb your sleep.
Stress can keep your mind running when your body desperately wants rest.
And then you wake up exhausted and are expected to function normally.
The National Institute on Aging notes that hot flashes, especially night sweats, along with mood changes can contribute to poor sleep during the menopause transition.
I eventually learned that rest wasn’t laziness.
Rest was part of taking care of myself.
That lesson became important not only for my physical health, but for my emotional health too.
I Started Pouring Back Into Myself
You’ve heard me say this before:
Women spend so much of our lives pouring into everybody else.
Our children.
Partners.
Families.
Careers.
Homes.
Friends.
Responsibilities.
Then menopause arrives during a stage of life when many women already have a tremendous amount on their shoulders.
I had to learn to put myself back on my own list.
For me, that meant exercising consistently, eating differently, prioritizing sleep, building strength, taking care of my body, reducing unnecessary stress and protecting my peace.
Physical activity is part of my wellness routine not because I believe exercise magically fixes every emotional problem.
It doesn’t.
I exercise because moving and strengthening my body is one piece of taking care of the whole woman.
And Sometimes Lifestyle Isn’t Enough
This part is especially important to me.
There were symptoms I couldn’t simply exercise away.
I couldn’t out-discipline everything menopause was doing to me.
And because hormone therapy wasn’t an option for me, I talked with my physician about what I was experiencing. My doctor prescribed a nonhormonal medication that has helped me tremendously with symptoms including my mood changes, hot flashes and night sweats.
That’s my medical story.
It isn’t a recommendation that another woman take the same medication or follow the same treatment.
Every woman’s health history and menopause experience are different, and treatment decisions belong between a woman and her healthcare professional. The National Institute on Aging notes that management may include lifestyle changes, nonhormonal medications, hormone therapy or other approaches depending on the individual.
This experience taught me something that has become one of the foundations of Still Becoming Wellness:
Taking care of myself didn’t mean doing everything naturally. It meant doing what was healthy for me.
Asking for Help Is Still Taking Care of Yourself
If your emotional health is interfering with your everyday life, relationships, sleep or ability to function, don’t assume you simply have to endure it because you’re going through menopause.
Talk to somebody.
That might be your gynecologist, primary-care clinician, menopause specialist or mental-health professional.
The Menopause Society advises seeking professional care for persistent symptoms that could indicate depression and notes that women with a history of depression may be at greater risk during this stage.
There is strength in recognizing when you need more support.
I Didn’t Lose Myself
Looking back now, I don’t think menopause erased the woman I was.
It forced me to get acquainted with the woman I was becoming.
And those are two very different things.
My body changed.
My emotions changed.
My priorities changed.
The way I take care of myself changed.
But somewhere along the journey, I stopped asking:
“How do I get the old me back?”
And started asking:
“What does this version of me need?”
That question changed everything.
At 53 and post-menopause, I’m still learning.
I’m still exercising.
I’m still building strength.
I’m still protecting my peace.
I’m still paying attention to my mental health.
I’m still figuring out what this season requires from me.
And I don’t need to have every answer.
Because there is no finished version of me waiting somewhere at the end of this journey.
A New Season. A Stronger You.
If menopause has made you feel unlike yourself, your experience deserves to be taken seriously.
You don’t have to dismiss every emotion as “just hormones.”
And you don’t have to suffer quietly because somebody else doesn’t understand what you’re experiencing.
Learn about your body.
Talk about what you’re experiencing.
Take care of your physical health.
Protect your mental health.
Ask for professional help when you need it.
And give yourself permission to become acquainted with the woman emerging on the other side of this transition.
She may be different.
But different doesn’t have to mean less.
Same woman.
New season.
Still Becoming. 💜
Still Becoming Wellness shares personal experience and general educational information. This article is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any medical or mental-health condition or replace individualized medical care. If you are experiencing persistent or severe changes in mood, anxiety, cognition or sleep, speak with an appropriate healthcare professional.
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